Why
by Joce
Summary: After Ultimecia, and Seifer, Raijin and Fujin come back to Garden, Zell starts thinking about his past again. Family shows up not his adopting family either. Shocking discoveries are made as well. R&R!
1. Appearances

**Why?**

Jocelyn D. Hoover

**Appearances**

**Joce:** Rewriting chapters 1 through 3. I don't own Final Fantasy 8 or any of the characters, I just own own the OCs. Laughs evilly. Rape, Yaoi, Yuri, Angst, Violence, etc cetera, Humor… Uh..

**Mixen:** Enjoy reading!

**08101991**

Zell still remembered when he was around 4, how could he not? Even using the Guardian Forces as much as he did didn't get rid of those horrid memories. How his father had lied and told him he'd enjoy it. But it was a big fuckin' lie, so much pain and blood, and his screams filled the air. How his mom came home and dropped the groceries on the floor and screamed. She took a kitchen knife and waved it at his father, threatening to leave his half-conscious body alone.

_"You leave my baby alone Leonard! Leave Zell alone! Now!"_

_"Elaine, he's got to know how it feels."_

_"You're a sick twisted monster you bastard! Go to hell! He's only 4!!"_

_Elaine bent down and picked up her sobbing son, his big baby blue eyes squeezed shut in pain, blonde hair stained with blood. She walked into the living room and picked up the phone, calling the police. They got to the house in a matter of minutes and brought an ambulance with them. Leonard Zabac was arrested for rape and Zell Zabac, soon to be Dincht, was sent to the hospital in his mothers' arms._

Zell shuddered at the memory, and he went back to thinking, remembering what happened after that.

_"Matron, could you take care of my son? I... I can't keep him with me, sister, Leonard has done a terrible thing to him."_

_"It's alright, Elaine. Of course I'll take care of my nephew."_

_"Don't tell him about me, Leonard, Ward or you... He doesn't need to know."_

_"Mommy! Daddy he-"_

_"I know, baby, but he's never going to get you again, I promise, you won't even have to remember him, if you don't want to."  
_

_"Ellone."_

_"Yes Matron?"_

_"Zell."_

_Ellone nodded and took Zell, who clung to her like a lifeline, "It's OK, I'm Ellone, or as all the kids call me, big sister."_

_Zell stared at her, "I want mommy."_

_Ellone hugged him, "I'm sorry, Zell, but you have to stay here, OK?"_

_Zell started to cry as Ellone took him out back. Elaine turned to Matron, and started to cry. Matron moved up to her and wrapped her arms around her sister._

_"It's alright, nothing bad will happen to Zell, we'll make sure he gets the best home he can get, nothing bad will happen to my nephew. Your husband is a sick twisted man, you and Zell aren't, you two are two of the most precious things to Ellone and I."_

_Elaine looked up at her sister, using the words Ward had used, "He is no husband of mine."_

_Matron looked down at her sister, "Nor is he any brother-in-law of mine." _

Zell let out a sob and stated bitterly, "He is no father of mine."

"Huh? Say somethin' Zell?" Irvine asked, spinning around in his chair again.

Zell looked up, "No, nothing."

"You're lying." Seifer stated.

Zell glowered at him, "Who said I was lying?"

"You're crying, and bitter."

Zell blinked, and began to reach up to wipe his tears when Squall reached out and cleaned his face off with a handkerchief, causing Zell to flinch.

"And you're flinchy." Squall stated quietly.

"I... I... it's nothing, I don't want to talk about it." Zell stated.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HA-WOAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Irvine yelled, spinning the chair really fast this time and literally flying out of it and on top of a surprised Seifer.

"Ouch..." both boys muttered.

"Grrr...Would you get offa' me? Damned moron." Seifer muttered throwing Irvine off.

"Ow! Hey, that's mean."

"Bite me." Seifer said, sticking his tongue out and pulling down his eye lid.

Zell burst out laughing, startling everyone. Zell stopped laughing, smiling, he said, "Thanks for cheering me up guys, by the way Seifer, what were ya' thinkin' about before Irvine flew on top of you?"

Seifer grinned, "Thinkin' about the first time the gang and I met you, you were four and so small and frail, with those big baby blue eyes and bright blond hair."

_Ellone walked into the room, smiling sadly. Three 4 year-olds and two 5 year-olds ran up to her, eager to see what she had this time._

_A chibi Seifer, climbed on top of a chair and poked at the boy in Ellone's arms, "Who's zat?"_

_"This is Zell, Zell, this is Seifer, Squall, Irvine, Quistis and Selphie." Ellone said, setting him down._

_Zell instantly started to cry again, "I want mommy!"_

_Ellone sighed, this was going to take a while._

Seifer frowned, "But you were so scared, and even up to today we don't know why, you know how long it took you to atleast give ANY of us a grain of trust?"

"Um, a whole damn year?"

"Exactly."

Irvine grinned, "I was the first one out of the group to be trusted."

_"Hey, Zell! Zellllllllllllllllll!!! Where are you?" a five year old Irvine walked around the front of the orphanage, spotting a monster reaching into one of the buildings. He pulled out his wooden stake and ran up, stabbing it in its only eye. It screeched and squirmed for a few minutes before it died, falling flat down. He went inside the building and found Zell_.

"Why WERE you in there anyway?"

"I wanted to be left alone for awhile, and you guys wouldn't stop irritating me. Hey guys, I'ma gonna go hit the sack." Zell said. Everyone nodded and Zell began to walk to the dormitories. He spotted a frail women in her late 30s, she spotted him, and both stopped for a moment.

"Zell..."

"Mom..."

**08101991**

**Joce: **Ok, I fixed up chapter one. Now for number two. Ja ne!


	2. Hatred Rising

**Why?**

Jocelyn D. Hoover

**Hatred Rising**

**Joce: **Chapter 2, rewrite! You know I don't own it so don't bug me about it, warnings are in first chapter.

**Mixen:** Stares at her. You really are getting lazy.

**Joce: **Well duh, I wanna go back to bed.

**08101991**

Zell stared in shock at his mother. Her long golden colored hair and piercing blue eyes matching her son's, being as slender and having all the right curves. The woman slowly walked towards him, a small smile perched on her lips.

"Hi… Zell." the small, frail woman said, finally reaching him.

"Mom?" he repeated, staring straight into her eyes. His voice cracked.

"Yes, it's me."

"W-why?"

"Why, what?" she asked.

"Why haven't you visited me in the past 13 years?" he asked, anger rising in his chest.

"I had to move, away, far away from your father, get a divorce, figure out where you had lived and then was on the run from your father," she said, "but, that's no excuse for not visiting for 13 years."

"He is _not_ my father." Zell hissed.

The frail women sighed, "You remember then? I'm so, so, so sorry. I wish he was dead in a gutter somewhere... That son of a-"

They both heard a yawn and a few sets of foot steps. Zell stood still, still staring at his mother. Seifer grinned and rested his hand on Zell's shoulder. Zell growled and threw his hand off. Seifer looked taken aback while Squall raised an eyebrow and Irvine looked confused. Seifer turned to Elaine.

"Hey, I'm Seifer; Seifer Almasy, and you are?" Seifer asked, offering his hand.

"She's my mother, Elaine Zabac." Zell said, glaring hard at the ground.

Seifer looked up towards the ceiling as if he were lost in thought, "Why does that name sound familar?"

"Which one? Zabac?" Irvine asked.

"Yeah."

"I'm...Squall...Squall Leonhart-Loire, whatever..." Squall said, looking annoyed.

"You're Squall, you only slightly resemble you're father, you resemble your mother more..." Elaine said, smiling.

"You know my parents?" Squall asked.

"Yes, Raine was my sister and your father had made another woman pregnant too, but hadn't known it. Julia Caraway, originally known as Julia Heartilly. My oldest sister, Matron, married Cid Highwind. Kiros never married anyone. Ward is Leonard's younger brother… They're nothing alike, thank god. It was kind of ironic that Kiros, Ward and Laguna all ended up traveling together, years ago. And they're still with each other in Esthar, I believe. Anyway, my oldest brother, Zachary, had a daughter and three sons. Quistis, Irvine, Nida and his twin brother. Julia had Rinoa, who Caraway held dear to him after his first daughter had been kidnapped and Julia had died. Raine died giving birth to you, Squall." Elaine said.

"I'm related to… all those people you just mentioned?" Zell asked; his head was starting to hurt.

"Yes, you are." Elaine said.

"Excuse me - I'm Irvine Kinneas, nice to meet Zell's mother... and apparently my aunt." Irvine said, looking up and smiling.

Zell looked pale, very pale, "But-why do we all have different last names?"

"You were all sent to the orphanage at very young ages... Nida and his twin were unfortunately sent to a way different orphanage, I think he was sent there with some kid named Xu. Raijin and Fuujin were there, which was unexpected because the families had been looking for those for quite some time. Fuujin was Timothy Caraway's first daughter. None of your last names stayed the same."

"Mom… Quistis, Nida, Raijin, Fuujin, Xu and Rinoa go here." Zell said, rubbing his left temple.

"Oh, they do? Could I... meet them?" Elaine asked, looking hopeful.

"Nida graduated to SeeD the same time Squall, Selphie and I did."

"Who's Selphie?" Elaine asked, tilting her head slightly.

"That's funny, the person most likely to be related to Zell - isn't!" Seifer said, raising an eyebrow.

"Laguna's visiting all week, he should be here in about an hour," Squall said, "with Ward and Kiros."

"Oh, he is, is he? Hmm… Ah, Zell? Where are you going?" Elaine asked, watching Zell walk away like he was drunk.

**08101991**

Oh... My... God... Squall, Rinoa, Nida, Irvine and Quistis are my cousins? Caraway, Cid, Laguna, Kiros and Ward are my Uncles? Matron, Raine and Julia are my Aunts? My mother just appeared out of nowhere after 13 years. And... wait she said she's on the run from my fa- Leonard? Gah! I'm thinking too hard... Need to go to sleep... I'll think about it tomorrow. I stifled a yawn as I went into my dorm, flicking on the lights to see a man on my couch; he looked vaguely familar, with that brown hair, silvery eyes, and tall, lanky form. I had a nagging feeling in the back of my mind.

"Hello? May I help you?" I ask, he averted his eyes from the wall to stare at me. He smirked.

"I was told that this is Zell's dorm...are you him? You look like him." the man said. Okay, this man is weird.

"Who's asking?" I asked, feeling uneasy.

"His father." the man, or Leonard, said. I sucked in a deep breath, feeling that nagging feeling grow and take over with rage. This is my father? This is that bastard!?

"_I'm_ Zell." I said – no, I seethed.

"You've grown." Leonard said, bored.

"Why are you here?" I asked, bitterly.

"I can't visit my son?"

"I still remember what you did... I was 4!" I practically screamed at him. I heard footsteps becoming closer. I glared at Leonard – he smirked again. I felt anger stab me in the gut – was he _mocking_ me!?

"I'm sorry about that, son." he said. He's _sorry_!? Isn't it kinda' late for that, possibly, ah, let's see, _13 years late_!?

"_You bastard! You aren't sorry! You stupid hoe! I bet all you came back for is to get mom and get back at me! Why the hell would you really mean sorry!?_" I yelled, probably waking everyone in Garden. I felt a hand on my shoulder and a few gasps behind me. I slapped the hand and clenched my fists until my knuckles were white and I had drawn blood in the palms of my hands. My vision was turning red as I glared at Leonard. Leonard narrowed his eyes, yeah get angry, I'll kick your fucking ass, old man!

"I wasn't in my right mind. And I said I'm sorry." Leonard said. I laughed bitterly for a moment, then stopped hearing someone whisper something about the yelling; I looked behind me to see Laguna glaring - the normally too cheery guy - at Leonard; Ward, Kiros, mom, Cid and Matron glaring coldly at the man as well. I looked back to my father.

"Duh, of course you weren't in your right mind, never were, asshole." I hissed.

"Watch your language, son." he scolded.

"No."

"What was that?"

"_I'll kill you!!!_" and I woulda' started to then, if Seifer, Squall and Irvine hadn't decided to get a hold of me then; I struggled with them, trying to get to the man I hated so much. Laguna stepped forward, in front of me.

"Leonard Zabac, why are you here?" he asked coldly.

"To visit my son." Leonard said, glaring down at the shorter man.

"_You aren't my fucking father!!!_" I practically screamed.

"You are not allowed to go anywhere _near_ Zell; you hear me?" Laguna asked – no; he commanded it.

"Uncle Laguna, I think I can handle this fuck myself." I growled. Laguna turned around, clearly shocked.

"How do you-?"

"Mother told me." I growled out.

"Then you know all of who you're related to?" Kiros asked calmly, from behind me.

"No... Duh! Now can I kill him?" I asked, sarcastically. I freed myself of my two cousins' and friend's hold. I leapt forward and socked Leonard in the face. He fell back, after the sickening crack was heard. His eyes turned glassy as he glared up at me. My knuckles were bleeding and I was ready to strike again; but Seifer got me in tight body lock, I was still able to move my legs, so I reached forward with a swift kick to Leonard's jaw and Squall bound my legs together, wrapping his arms around them. I struggled again, yelling every curse at Leonard, surprising everyone around me at how angry I was.

**08101991**

**Joce: **Cliffhanger! Laughs evilly. I'll redo part 3 tomorrow… It's too hot right now. Whines.

**Mixen: **Whines too.


	3. Revelations

**Why?**

Jocelyn D. Hoover

**Revelations**

**Joce: **Chapter 3, yadda!

**Mixen: **Yaoi, Yuri, rape, angst, yadda, yadda – if you flame, it's your own fault for reading it. Don't like, stop reading right now. Also, get out if you don't like.

**Joce:** Here we go!

**08101991**

Zell glared menacingly at Leonard; he felt a sharp pain in his arm, causing him to yelp in surprise and look to his left arm. He felt his body start to numb out and his vision was starting to blur.

"I'm gonna… fuckin… kill ya…" Zell mumbled, his body falling limp and into Seifer's hold.

Squall sighed and let go of his legs while Seifer got a better hold on him and picked him up to where he was carrying him in his arms. Laguna sighed in relief and thanked Dr.Kadowaki, then turned back to Leonard; the feeling he gave off was intimidating, not even close to his usual friendliness.

"Get out of here and stay away from Zell." Laguna demanded.

"This isn't over." Leonard said, scowling.

The tall, lanky brunette made his way out of the room. Seifer turned to Laguna.

"Who was that?" Seifer asked.

"Uh... Elaine, may I?" Laguna asked, looking towards Elaine and giving her a sheepish grin.

"They deserve to know; pay attention." Elaine said.

"_That_ was Leonard Zabac; Ward's brother, Elaine's husband, Zell's father...My brother-in-law. He did a horrible, disgusting, unbelievable thing to Zell when he was four. He was arrested and Zell went to the hospital for awhile - then Elaine took Zell to the orphanage where Squall, Irvine, Selphie, Quistis and you were located. Elaine has been on the run from that man… no… that beast, for the past thirteen years. He was released seven years ago; they've been divorced for thirteen years." Laguna said, calmly.

Everyone stood there for a second; not all of them had the full story from before. Seifer stood there, processing the information given to him. Realization dawned on him and he gasped.

"He didn't try to… kill him… did he?" Seifer asked, concern written across his scarred features.

"In a manner of speaking… Ask Zell later, if you wish – just don't pester him." Elaine said, gesturing to her son.

Seifer shifted, getting a better hold on Zell, "I'm going to take him back to my dorm; if Leonard should appear, and should I keep Zell from killing him?"

"You don't have to."

"Good, 'cause I'll be busy killing him myself." Seifer stated, glowering.

**08101991**

Ow… I can't move, what did they do? Whose couch am I on? I can tell this isn't my dorm; my couch isn't this comfy and it isn't black. Nor are the ceiling and the walls black, either… I sat up and rubbed my eyes with my palms; my body ached for sleep. I ignored it then remembered what had happened earlier; hoping to Hyne that I wasn't in that lunatic's house…

"You're awake."

I turned, alarmed at the voice, to see Seifer in a t-shirt and black jeans, with his usual boots. He was leaning against the door frame, staring at me. I nodded, hesitant.

"Hungry?" he asked, voice calm. His eyes showed concern and worry, completely different from his voice and actions. I nodded again and he turned around, heading into the kitchen.

**08101991**

"How long was I asleep?" Zell asked, just loud enough for Seifer to hear.

"Two days."

"Why was I out that long?"

"Dr.Kadowaki said it was probably due to stress." Seifer stated, coming into the room.

Both blondes were quiet for a moment.

"Are you some type of goth?" Zell asked, staring at the walls and ceiling.

Seifer let out a small laugh, "Not really; black is just a hidden color; like our pasts."

Seifer walked over to the couch, set down an apple and a plate of eggs, bacon, and a glass of orange juice in front of Zell.

"Oh." Zell murmured, grabbing at the blanket he'd noticed moments before.

"Here; sorry if it isn't much. By the way, Nida dropped by today, wondering if you were alright." Seifer said.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" Zell said, hurriedly, his eyes widening.

"Don't worry about it, everyone is dropping by; we were all worried about you… Should be about Selphie's turn to barge in and ask." Seifer said, grinning slightly.

"Is he awake yet?" Selphie asked, throwing the door wide open so it hit the wall with a bang. Spotting Zell, she jumped up and down, leaping at him and locking him in a bear hug.

"ZELL!"

"Sefie… I can't… _breathe_!!!" Zell managed, arms flailing.

Selphie blinked rapidly as if realizing something and let go of Zell, letting him drop back onto the couch, instantly bringing up a hand to pound on his chest.

"You meanie! You shouldn't make us worry about you like that! You're supposed to be a happy person! Think sunshine!" Selphie stopped beating on his chest and sat back on the table, pointing to her cheeks with her index fingers and smiling widely. Seifer stared at her for a moment; Zell just rubbed the back of his head.

"Um… Sefie… Go tell everyone he's conscious." Seifer suggested, meeting Zell's eyes.

"Tell them I'm going to go take a walk outside; think the forest and cauldron would be nice to be around – don't think Ifrit would mind his cauldron, either." Zell said.

"Want anyone to go with you?" Seifer asked, concern showing on his face.

"Nah, the monsters around here are pretty weak, I can handle myself." Zell said.

"Okay! Bye! See ya' later!" Selphie exclaimed, dashing out of the room.

**08101991**

Zell yawned and stretched, flexing his hands. So far he'd cleared out 246 Bite Bugs, 164 Geezards, 82 Catcherpillars, 54 Glaciel Eyes, 12 T-Rexuars, and out of the Fire Cavern 81 Bombs, 286 Bats and 54 Buels. All in all, he'd gotten a good amount of EXP, levels and items. He heard clapping behind him and turned around confused. His eyes settled on Leonard and Zell scowled.

**08101991**

Damnit; I can't believe I forgot Ifrit, Brothers, Doomtrain, Cactuar and Bahamut in my room. Oh well, no worries; I'll kill this bastard with my bare hands.

"Bravo, son." Leonard said, still clapping.

"I'm _not_ your _son_." I growled.

"Right; we're _blood-related_, you _can not_ deny that." Leonard said; he smirked smugly at me.

I swear; he loves to get on my nerves. I scowled at him again, the scowl turning into a full-out fierce glare and I clenched my fists.

"I wish we weren't." I growled out.

"You may be strong, but _not_ strong enough to defeat me, son." Leonard snarled.

"What do you want?" I asked, gritting my teeth.

"Well, you've grown up quite well; slender body like a woman, face like a woman; you're just so damn feminine." Leonard said, smirking.

"Whatever…" Great, now I sound like Squall.

"_Zell_!!!"

I blinked and snapped back to reality; I spun around, hearing rustling behind me as Leonard ran off.

**08101991**

Seifer raced up to Zell, plowing through the field. He reached Zell, then before speaking, caught his breath.

"Leonard… what… what was he doing here?" Seifer asked, panting.

"Don't know, but he kinda ran off." Zell said, crossing his arms and growling.

"Zell… Why exactly do you hate him so much? Did he try to kill you?" Seifer asked.

Zell turned to him, eyebrows furrowed, "Kind of… I'll tell you when we get back; how's that?"

Why had he told him he'd tell him? It's not like he really liked being around the guy, right?

Seifer nodded, and then both blondes took off for Balamb Garden.

**08101991**

"So… start from the top, okay, Zell?" Seifer asked.

"Right… it all started when my fath- I mean – Leonard - came to pick me up from daycare, I noticed… I noticed an odd look in his eyes, and… and he moved differently, and his voice, it was… husky. Anyway, he took me home and into the kitchen, he asked me if I wanted something wonderful, and that it wouldn't hurt. So, being four and expecting a treat and not knowing… he… pinned me down and tore my clothing off… he stared down at me, smiling. He kissed me on the forehead and said that I was a brave little boy… and… he… entered my body… and it hurt - it hurt so badly! I was screaming, begging for daddy to stop but he wouldn't and just told me it'd be over soon – that I'd be his little man… Mommy came in and started screaming at him. She picked up a knife and came at him… He backed off and she picked me up… There was so much blood… I was bleeding all over the place. He just smiled at me warmly as if it were perfectly normal… He was arrested and I was sent to the hospital; my mom took me to Matron's; to you guys." Zell said. His voice had started cracking early on, and his eyes began to water; he hugged himself, looking down and holding back sobs.

Seifer sat there, staring at him in horror and sympathy, "Oh Hyne… Zell… Why would he have done such a thing? To _you_ when you were just _four_?"

"I… I dunno…" Zell said, clearing his throat.

**08101991**

**Joce:** Ok, I cleaned it up – what cha' think of it now? Hope it's better. Re-review if you want or something! Laughs evilly.

**Mixen:** I told you Joce was nuts.

**Joce: **No, you didn't.

**Mixen:** I thought I did…


	4. Family

**Why?**

Jocelyn D. Hoover

**Part 4: Family**

**Joce:** This chapter, I'm going to focus more on figuring out who is who is Zell's family and yadda.

**Mixen:** … Fun… Sarcastic.

**Joce: **Oh shut up. I do not own Final Fantasy VIII, Tetsuya Nomura does. HE IS GOD! Seifer/Zell at least, possibly some other pairings while I'm at it. Yaoi, rape, angst, horror, humor, confusion. Possible Yuri. Don't like, don't read. If you flame, it's your own fault for reading it.

**08101991**

Zell sighed, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. Seifer continued to stare at him; his eyes held concern, sorrow… a bit of anger. Zell rubbed an eye and stood up, rotating his neck.

"Seifer; I'm gonna go get somethin to eat from the cafeteria. Want anything?" Zell asked, smiling slightly at Seifer, acting as if nothing had happened.

"A-ah… I'll come with you." Seifer said.

"Nah, I'm safe inside the Garden. What are ya hungry for?" Zell asked.

Seifer frowned slightly, then shrugged, "Fish, I guess."

Zell laughed and Seifer looked at him, surprised. After a moment, Zell finally composed himself and smiled at Seifer, noticing his confusion, "Sorry… You lived in Balamb and lived on fish for so long… just made me laugh that you wanted even _more_ fish."

"A-ah… I guess I just like fish, huh?" Seifer asked, smirking and standing with that same arrogant stance he used to stand with.

Except something was different…

Zell noted that Seifer's stance was attempting to be arrogant… but it came off as nervous more than anything. Zell sent him a reassuring smile and left, closing the door behind him softly. Seifer stared after him, puzzled; why had Zell smiled like that? Did he know something?

**08101991**

Zell leaned on the counter, trying to peek around it. He got off the counter, crossing his arms and looking somewhat frustrated – just where was everyone? The lunch ladies were gone, it was lunch time and there were no students eating…

"Hello!? Is anyone in here?" Zell shouted, fear starting to rise suddenly. He waited for a response but none came; he whined pathetically and slouched. He stood back up and looked around again.

"Zell!"

Zell whirled around, facing a cafeteria lunch lady, clutching his chest, "Lady! You scared me!"

"Oh, sorry dear… Usual order of hot dogs?"

"Yeah, and your fish special, please."

"Eating with Seifer? That's a new one." The lunch lady stated, smiling knowingly at a flustered Zell.

"W-well… He took care of me for a couple days; I owe him something…" Zell muttered, looking embarrassed.

The lunch lady smiled and handed him a bag, "Here you are, Zell."

"Thanks, Matilda!" Zell cheered, handing her the money for the food and taking the bag. He waved and turned, running off.

Matilda stared after him, her green eyes sparkling with laughter. Her silver hair was tied back and put into a bun; she wore a dark green apron that fit her small frame just right. She looked like she was in her early twenties.

**08101991**

"I'm b- what the fuck are all of you doing here?" Zell asked, halting half-way through the door way. He had a quizzical expression that clearly said, 'what the fuck'.

"Erm… They kind of barged in here and made themselves comfortable…" Seifer muttered, taking the food from him and walking into the kitchen.

"Hello, Zelly!" Selphie cheered, rocking on her feet and grinning like a maniac.

"Um… hi… Why is everyone stuffed into one room?" Zell asked, closing the door behind him and staring at everyone as if they were nuts.

"We wanted to come and say hi, of course." Laguna said, cracking a grin. Squall stared at him, his left eye twitching as if he were agitated.

"Uh… Squall?"

"Zell; we also came to figure out who the family members are. To figure out the family tree, if you will." Squall said, rubbing his left temple.

"Oh… Um… Yay?"

Seifer came back out and handed him a plate of hot dogs, holding his own plate of fish, he leaned over slightly, whispering, "Thanks, Zell. Looks great."

"It's the fish special." Zell said, grinning. He walked over to the couch and plopped down beside his mother and Seifer went over and stood behind him.

"Alright. We'll start with my parents. Timothy Seagull married my mother, Lorie Laine. Both are deceased now, but anyway. Zachary Seagull was their first child, then came Kiros, Matron, then Julia, then Raine, then myself, and lastly… Llez was born." Elaine said; she had paused at Llez's name, as if it had pained her to mention the name.

"Eh!? I know all of them except Zachary and… Llez." Zell said; Kiros waved to him and he waved back, grinning slightly.

"Llez died when he was about seven years old…" Elaine began.

"He was a victim of rape; they never caught who did it. Zachary thought he knew but he seemed like he was losing his mind… He might've been right; none of us ever asked him, though." Kiros said.

"… Wish I could've met Uncle Llez…" Zell said, frowning.

"Zachary married Lucia Trepe after they had a daughter, which was their only daughter and that would be Quistis. He married Lucia after she became pregnant with Irvine; after Irvine was born, they had twins – Nida Trevor and Zell Seagull." Elaine said.

"So that's why you guys dragged me here… wait, I have a twin?" Nida asked, looking somewhat alarmed.

"Yeah. Not long after the twins were born, Zachary and Lucia were murdered by some man they never identified." Elaine said, frowning.

"Guess we won't be able to meet our parents after all." Irvine said, looking somewhat sulky.

"Matron and Cid married and had Raijin at about the same time Fujin was born between Jennie and Timothy Caraway. Raijin and Fujin were both kidnapped when they were young, and were sent off to a different orphanage where they later met up with the twins. Fujin was kidnapped when Jennie was murdered brutally in front of her and Raijin had wandered off in the middle of the night when a Garden was visiting. Timothy Caraway married Julia who had a two month old baby named Rinoa Heartilly. Julia later died of heart failure. Rinoa's father is Laguna Loire. Laguna hadn't known he had gotten her pregnant; he'd also gotten Raine pregnant in Winhill. Raine gave birth to Squall; when she gave birth, she died in the process. No one in the town would've been able to care for him so he was sent to live with Matron." Elaine explained.

Squall and Rinoa looked at each other, horrified. Zell looked up, looking from Rinoa to Squall. Squall expression was priceless.

"Didn't anyone go to search for Raijin and Fujin?" Seifer asked suddenly.

"Of course. Searching for them ended in finding two incinerated bodies of children. They assumed that was them and left it at that." Elaine said, frowning.

"We were not happy in the least." Matron announced, frowning.

"Albert Zabac married Laura Asphari and had two boys; Ward Zabac, the younger brother, and Leonard Zabac, the older brother…" Elaine said, trailing off. She looked at Zell, looking like she was trying to decide something.

Zell sat there, staring ahead, gnawing on his lip.

"Ward got Lucy Thor pregnant, and Lucy had Ellone. Ward didn't know about Ellone being his daughter until recently, due to having those exams last month. Lucy Thor died a year after she married Alexander Cunninglane. I married-…" Elaine began.

"No mom, I want to hear about us last…" Zell whispered.

"Ok… Seifer and Selphie are brother and sister, they're the children of Raiden Almasy and Fuutari Tilmitt."

"What? They were famous! And they always fought!" Selphie shouted, jumping and landing in front of Elaine on her knees.

"In public they fought. To keep you two a secret so you two had normal lives, they took you two to Matron. The Almasy's and Zabac's were old, family friends." Elaine said.

"You mean I'm related to that… hyper-active, _thing_?" Seifer asked, looking somewhat mortified.

"Hey!"

"If you mean Selphie, then yes." Answered a deep voice.

Everyone looked towards the doorway where a pale man with silver-ish hair and green eyes stood beside a shorter, dark-skinned woman with blonde hair and blue eyes. The man had on a simple trench coat with black slacks and a black t-shirt, along with black boots. Sunglasses were perched ontop of his head and he had a toothpick sticking out of the corner of his mouth. The woman had on blue jeans, what looked like an orange sports bra, orange wrist bands and a pair of white sneakers. The woman smirked and waved while the man snorted and looked to the side.

"Ah – Raiden, Fuutari." Kiros said, staring at them.

"Yeah! Long time no see! Oh my god! Which one is Selphie and which one is Seifer!? Wait! Don't tell me… You're Seifer!" Fuutari exclaimed, leaping at a surprised Seifer who held his fish above his head so it wouldn't get knocked off the plate.

"H-Hey!"

"Mom?" Selphie asked, crawling between Zell and Elaine, reaching over the back of the couch and hugging the dark woman. Fuutari let go of Seifer and hugged Selphie, both of them talking animatedly.

"Um… Let Elaine finish please…" Nida said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh, sorry, El!" Fuutari said, grinning sheepishly and just hanging onto her daughter around the shoulders and onto her son's waist.

"It's alright. And last… I married Leonard Zabac… Our first son was Llez Zabac, and my second is the baby – Zell."

"Wait… Brother…? I have a brother?" Zell asked, looking dazed.

"Yes…"

"Oh shi-…"

"Zell!"

He promptly fainted, sliding part of the way down the couch.

**08101991**

**Joce:** Yes, I will be able to remember all of that. I made a family tree. Or ten. Grins.

**Mixen:** … I think she's really into this story.

**Joce: **Damn right I am. I have some more ideas for later. I just need some ideas for _now_. Ok, ja ne! I'll write more in the morning. It's so hot and I'm tired! Whines.


	5. Ma Dincht

**Why?**

Jocelyn D. Hoover

**Part 5: Ma Dincht**

**Joce: **I reread chapters 1 through 3… And… I'm ashamed at my writing style, my grammar, etc cetera.

**Mixen: **It wasn't that bad…

**Joce:** Trust me, it was bad. It was as bad as your twin's insanity and pleasure towards harming people who piss her off.

**Mixet: **Excuse me? Glares at Joce.

**Joce:** You heard me, wench!

**Mixet:** That's it you little -!

**Mixen:** Sighs. Here we go again. Should know the warnings and stuff by now. Oh, this chapter contains a little Irvine/Zell. And Rinoa/Selphie.

**08101991**

He was floating, he couldn't move… He felt trapped and felt as if he were suffocating. He looked around, and fear rose as he saw his father and two other blonde, darkened figures. The two blondes had the wrists gripped hard, both looking like they wanted to get away. Another blonde, shadowed figure had appeared; this one was watching and shaking. Zell stared at this figure, wondering why they were shaking. Were they crying? Why were they crying?

Zell squinted, trying to make out at least one more of the figures; one of the ones Leonard was grabbing the wrist of seemed to become clearer – it was a younger version of Zell, himself. Still, he couldn't make out the other figures. But, something about the crying figure startled him. It made him feel scared… horrified… Then that's when it hit Zell…

The figure wasn't crying.

He was laughing.

**08101991**

Zell bolted into a sitting position, startled and sweaty, panting somewhat heavily. His eyes were wide and he covered his face with both his hands. After a moment of trying to calm down, he pulled his hands away from his face, staring at them. His gloves had been removed, revealing the creamy, soft skin that was constantly hidden by his gloves.

Zell let out a shuddery sigh and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He paused, wondering when he had gone to his bed. Last thing he remembered was being told by his mother that he had an older brother… And he fainted. He winced; the hot dogs had probably ended up on the floor. He began to sob, hugging himself. There was a knock at the door and he looked up, startled, "What?"

"Are you alright, Zell?" Seifer's voice asked.

"Yeah, I can't say the same for the hot dogs, though." Zell responded.

There was a pause, and then Seifer said, "Excuse me?"

"Did the hot dogs end up on the floor? I didn't get a chance to eat them." Zell said.

"Um… I can always buy you some more, Zell." Seifer responded, sounding somewhat puzzled.

"But… those specific hot dogs didn't deserve the floor!"

"Erm… I have to go… Class is going to start." Seifer said slowly, as if he were unsure of what was going on.

Zell didn't hear him, instead, he let out a sob, "Those poor hot dogs – they were so young, too!"

It sounded like Seifer had run into something and then the sound of a front door closing; Zell stood up and opened his bedroom door, peeking around, "Anyone there?"

There wasn't any answer so Zell opened the door more, stepped outside his room and closed the door behind him. He looked around; he was definitely back in his own space. His trophy stand for contests – mostly hot dog eating and martial arts based competitions – was up against the wall next to his television.

He sighed lightly; maybe he should go visit Ma Dincht… Yeah, he'd go visit Ma Dincht.

**08101991**

He rounded the corner and froze, gaping. Was that Rinoa and Selphie? Making out? In the hallway!?

Rinoa and Selphie seemed to take notice of him and looked at him, separating from each other and looking at him somewhat quizzically. Rinoa spoke first, "Zell?"

Zell pointed at her, then Selphie, stuttering, "Y-you… and… you… and…"

"What about us?" Rinoa asked, raising an eyebrow.

"When…? How? What the hell?" Zell asked, obviously not making much sense to either girl. The two looked at each other, sharing a glance and shrugging. Both smiled at Zell and then Selphie spoke, snatching Rinoa's hand.

"We've been dating for a month now, Zelly – remember?" Selphie asked, giggling.

"Uh… That wasn't a dream?" Zell asked, feeling dumb. He mentally hit himself.

"Of course not."

"Is _this_ a dream, now?" Zell asked.

"No…" both girls said, dully. Both stared at him, menacingly. Needless to say, Zell felt scared.

Very scared.

He knew all too well the wrath of a woman when pissed off.

Especially the normally happy ones.

"Um… You aren't going to beat me, are you, Rin? Sefie?" Zell asked, taking a step back and putting his hands up in defense.

And that's when Irvine made his grand entrance. Man, was Zell glad to see him.

"My darling little cousin, Zell! What are you doing here at this moment in time? Come, my beloved little darling!"

Ok, he wasn't glad to see Irvine.

"I-Irvine!" Zell spluttered as Irvine latched onto him around his neck, smirking down at him; a Cheshire grin – great…

"Yes, my darling?"

Both Rinoa and Selphie watched with interest, their eyes glued onto the two boys. The two boys' faces were centimeters apart. One nervous and flustered, the other smirking.

"You… are too close for comfort, Irvine." Zell managed out; he squeaked when Irvine leaned his head down and captured the blonde's lips.

"Sugoi!" the girls cheered, grabbing each other's hands and squealing.

Zell gulped, his head starting to spin. Irvine ignored Zell's attempts at pushing him away; he pulled away only when the girls left… which was after they took a picture.

"I-Irvine! You jerk!" Zell yelled, running off.

"Zelly!" Irvine frowned, watching the lithe blonde run off. He crossed his arms, shaking his head slightly.

**08101991**

"Ma! I'm home!" Zell called. He stopped in the doorway of his adoptive mother's home, looking around the living room. He craned his head around the corner, looking into the tiny kitchen – she wasn't there.

He frowned, walking further into the small home, stopping when he came to the dining room. He looked around the dining room – under the table, behind racks, even peeked out into the backyard.

He shrugged and turned around, heading up the stairs and knocking on his mom's bedroom door, "Ma? Are you in there?"

No answer. He frowned and went down the hall, knocking on the bathroom door, "Ma?" Still no answer. One place left to check…

His room.

**08101991**

Zell looked around his room, frowning – just where was she? He headed back down the stairs and left the house. Maybe she was at the docks…

He passed the Inn and walked towards where he had boarded the submarine for his SeeD exam… Where Galbadia had invaded… The docks brought back many memories.

He squinted – someone was standing on the raised platform above the water… was that his mom? He started to break out into a run, only to halt right away in fear. Leonard was talking to her!

"Don't worry, woman. I'll be taking my son back – thanks for signing him over."

"I was a fool to sign it – burn in hell." Ma Dincht said, seeming angry for once.

Leonard laughed, "But, my fake story and my acting sure did deceive you, didn't it, Esmeralda?"

"Fuck you."

"Hmmm, hello Zelly. Nice timing. Llez, kill her." Leonard said, facing Zell with a triumphant smirk on his face.

"Ok, father." A messy blonde said, walking out from behind Zell and heading towards Leonard and Ma Dincht. His eyes were blue and his left ear was lined with half loop earrings, he had on a simple fishnet shirt and a pair of long, black jean shorts with multiple pockets, also wearing black and red sneakers. He was flipping a knife with a gloved hand; he wore gloves similar to Ehrgeiz and he was as tall as Leonard.

**Kill… Ma? No!**

"No!" Zell yelled, bolting forward and tackling Llez into the water. Leonard came to the water's edge, watching them fight in the water. Me Dincht watched from the platform, horrified.

"Zell…"

Zell surfaced, taking in a gasp of air before being pulled back down by his older brother. Llez pulled the knife back, switching his grip on the knife and bringing it up, slicing from the left side of Zell's waist to Zell's right shoulder. Zell cried out in pain; because of the water, it came out more as a gurgle. Zell started to swim towards the surface for air because of his intake of water but Llez grabbed both of his feet, holding him still.

Zell stopped struggling; he felt so tired, his eyes just wanted to close. He fought to stay awake; he just had to help Ma. Llez pulled him up, gasping for air himself and then climbing out, pulling Zell out after him and smirking down at him. Zell heard footsteps and several cries of "Zell", and then a gun shot…

Irvine? Nah, the sound of Irvine's gun was different. There were mortified screams and a splash… Had someone fallen in…?

**Ma!**

Zell's eyes went wide and he bolted up, socking Llez in the face and diving back in after Ma Dincht, following the blood trail. He fought the ache to go to sleep, he tried alright. He swam as fast as he could – no… not his Ma, not the woman who had cared so much for him…

Ma Dincht's body began to float back up and Zell became confused when someone grabbed him, he turned his head towards his assaulter – Leonard. He froze in fear, forgetting he was underwater and taking in more water. Then Leonard's left shoulder was shot, making him let go of Zell and swim in the opposite direction the shot had come from.

Zell's eyes began to close and he could feel someone grab him and start swimming upwards – whoever it was had strong arms and a companion with them. The last thing he remembered was nearing the surface of the water, shouting, panicking people and not being able to breathe anymore.

**08101991**

**Joce: **I have this sudden feeling someone wants to kill me…

**Mixen:** My sister maybe?

**Mixet:** Bitch face.

**Joce: **Shut up, hoe. Anyway, I'll rewrite chapters 1 through 3 if I can't think up anymore ideas and get writer's block. I'm almost caught up in school! And yes, I'll try to add a bit of almost everyone/Zell. Now excuse me, there are prickly needles in my right foot. Screams at the top of her lungs and rubs her foot.


	6. Goodbye

**Why?**

Jocelyn D. Hoover

**Goodbye**

**Joce: **Time for chapter 6, which is now titled, **Goodbye**.

**Mixen:** I think they can see that.

**Joce:** Shut up, blondie.

**Mixen: **Why are you always so mean to me? Tears spring to his eyes.

**Joce: **This is a rhetorical question, but – why am I stuck with a crybaby?

**Mixen: **… You're mean.

**Joce:** At least I'm not the one crying from being called blondie. Whistles. Ok, this is chapter 6 folks, if you don't have the warnings by now – then go back and read them on the other five chapters. _You should know them by now._

**08101991**

He was floating…

Again…

Man, was he getting tired of floating. Floating made him nervous! He didn't like heights. Which is why when they were flying the Ragnarok, he'd go back downstairs until they called him for something important.

Which did not include flying.

Ah – Zell jerked his head to the side, staring at four figures. One is his size with his hair style; one short one with blonde hair and two tall ones; one with blonde hair, and Leonard. Leonard was holding the first two peoples' hands and the tall blonde one was standing there, facing Zell, eyes red and a huge grin plastered on his face, showing fangs. For some reason, this person scared him more than Leonard did. He didn't know why, he didn't know who it was, but this person scared him the most.

He was pretty sure he knew who the medium-sized blonde was; it was probably himself. But the small blond; who was the small blonde?

The small blonde and the medium blonde both started struggling and prying at Leonard's hands. Or, they tried to scream, their mouths were open but nothing came out. Zell started to move towards them, but he didn't. He was honestly trying to, but he wasn't moving. Then… the tallest blonde grabbed him, smiling cruelly. He gripped his throat and he opened his mouth, screaming.

**08101991**

Zell bolted up, screaming, whamming his head into the forehead of another person. The impact caused both to fly apart, one back down to the pillow and the other to falling off the end of the bed. Zell groaned and held his forehead with both hands; he whimpered and cracked open an eye, "Who the hell - ? Irvine!"

Irvine waved and grinned sheepishly from his position on the floor at the end of Zell's bed, "Hey, lil' buddy. I wasn't climbing on ya or anythin… Really…"

"Liar!"

"Ow, harsh."

"Hey Zell – Texas bugging you?" Seifer asked, peeking around the corner of the open doorway.

"And being perverted."

Seifer chuckled, "Ok, cowboy, Cid wants to see us. Let's leave Chickenwuss alone."

"I'm not a Chickenwuss!" Zell bellowed, throwing his pillow at Seifer.

"Ok, ok!" Seifer said, laughing and ducking around the corner. He grabbed Irvine's pant leg and dragged him out of the room but came back after a minute, he looked at Zell with a serious expression, frowning.

"What?"

"I'm sorry, Zell." And without an explanation, he left. Zell froze, fearing the worst.

"Oh Hyne… Ma…"

"Yo, Zell." Laguna said, peeking around the corner to look at Zell.

"A-ah, Laguna."

"Your Ma is going to make a full recovery! Her chest might be a bit tender for awhile, but other than that, she'll be fine." Laguna said, grinning widely.

"Really!?" Zell asked, popping up onto his knees and grasping the front of Laguna's shirt, their faces centimeters apart. Laguna blushed somewhat and rubbed the back of his head, grinning.

"Yeah, really. You should really take it easy though, Zell – you inhaled a lot of water." Laguna said, shaking his finger at Zell.

"Ok, ok."

Both Zell and Laguna went quiet for a moment. Zell scrambled around until he became comfortable. Zell looked up at Laguna, expectant look on his face.

"Laguna…"

"Yeah, Zell?"

"How come you didn't tell me about everyone… everything… earlier?" Zell asked, frowning. Laguna went silent for a moment, as if contemplating his answer.

"Zell… Well… I didn't want you to remember Leonard… I'm pretty sure most of the other people didn't either." Laguna responded.

"Couldn't you have at least told me my real mother was alive!?" Zell snapped, suddenly angry.

Laguna sighed and looked down, "You're right, I'm sorry, Zell."

Zell crossed his arms and looked to the side, "I… guess it's ok."

"Haha, I have to make it up to you first." Laguna said, chuckling. He moved to Zell's bedside, wound one hand around to grab the back of Zell's head and gently pushed his head towards his own. He captured his lips, surprising the blonde; caught off guard, Zell opened his mouth to protest and that's when Laguna took his chance and dove tongue first into Zell's mouth. Zell, not sure what to do, sat there in a daze, puzzled and his cheeks reddening.

Laguna pulled away and started on his way, "Ja ne, Zell!"

"W-Wait!"

But… Laguna had already left.

Ok, so now Zell was frustrated no one told him sooner… and he had a bit of a… "problem", so to speak.

Zell flopped backwards on the bed, letting out a long whine and covering his eyes, palm first. He threw his head side to side and growled, "This is so not **fair**!"

**08101991**

"Zell's kind of mad at us for not telling him sooner." Laguna announced, chuckling.

"Us?" Squall asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yo, it's not like we **knew** anything to begin with, Uncle." Irvine announced, arms crossed.

"Who said I was talking to you?" Laguna asked, laughing.

"The only ones in this room beside you are Squall, Sefie, Rin, Quisty, Seif and I." Irvine muttered.

"Oh yeah, touché!" Laguna said, laughing.

"**Why** didn't you tell us sooner?" Squall asked, annoyed.

"Because I didn't?" Laguna suggested, shrugging.

"You are so impossible." Squall growled.

"Erm… and that signals our leave!" Irvine announced, pushing Seifer and Quistis out the door and dragging Rinoa and Selphie out, the last two protesting. The door slammed and Squall turned back to Laguna.

"I have some issues to take up with you." Squall said, his arms crossed.

"Ok, shoot."

"I don't care who you think you are. You can't just waltz back into my life and say, 'Hey! Guess what! I'm your father!' You **knew** where we were, you just didn't come get us. Care to explain **why**?" Squall asked, taking an angry tone.

Surprised, Laguna stared him in the eye, not smiling and unmoving for a moment.

"I… I'm sorry; it wasn't safe. It wouldn't have been safe to have you with me. I was traveling with Ward and Kiros, and then the whole Sorceress War against Adel. We were the main force against Adel."

"Then how come you never even said 'hello' when you dropped Ellone off after you rescued her from Esthar? Not once did you say hello to me or any of us until we appeared in Esthar **years** later." Squall said. He was standing in front of his desk now, looking frustrated.

"I… I'm really sorry, Squall. But what would you have done if I had just waltzed in and said, 'Hi, I'm your dad!' and then left within the next five minutes?" Laguna asked, frowning.

"Even so, you could've said hello after Adel had been sealed away – you had **years** before I was transferred to Garden." Squall stated; venom was practically dripping from his words.

"I'm sorry, Squall… I don't have a good reason."

"Leave…" Squall whispered, looking at the ground.

"What?"

"**Leave**!" Squall yelled; fists at his sides and glaring at Laguna.

Laguna sighed and turned around, walking from the room, closing the door softly behind him. Squall walked back around the desk and flopped down in his chair, leaning his elbows on the table and pressing his forehead to the table between his elbows, letting his arms just hang limp in the air. Squall choked back a sob, "Shit…"

**08101991**

Zell stumbled again, catching himself on the corner of his couch. He sighed – this was getting really old, really quick. He groaned when someone knocked on the door, "I'm comin'!"

Zell jerked the door open, staring at the blonde that looked so similar to him, minus the tattoo and his hair was shorter at the top. He smiled at Zell, "So you **are** ok!"

"Um… yeah, who are you?"

"The name is Llez Seagull!"

"But… you're dead!" Zell shouted, surprised. Llez squeaked and covered Zell's mouth, forcing his way in and closing the door with his foot.

"I'm not, I'm not!" Llez protested.

"Vow?" Zell asked through Llez's hand.

"Excuse me…? Oh, oops." Llez uncovered his mouth, and pulled at the hem of his white tank top.

"I said, how? Mom said you **died**." Zell said.

"Well, I used a Phoenix Pinion before hand."

Zell stared at him like he'd grown three heads, "**What**?"

Llez started laughing, "I'm kidding!"

"So how are you alive?"

"Um… because I haven't died yet?" Llez shrugged.

"Right… so mom and everyone else was just imagining it."

"Nah."

"**Then how are you alive**!?" Zell bit out, annoyed.

"They thought I died, but they never found my body." Llez said, grinning.

"… Fine… whatever – wait, aren't you, like, forty-something?" Zell asked.

"Thirty-two." Llez supplied, smiling.

"Then why do you look like a teenager?"

"I age slowly?" Llez suggested, shrugging.

"Ok, last question before my head explodes… from your… constant smiling and brightness… stuff."

"Brightness stuff?"

"Shuddap – if you've been alive this entire time, then why haven't you **told** anyone?" Zell asked.

"That's an easy one! Leonard Zabac is still alive. I'm here to take you to travel so Leonard has less of a chance of finding us." Llez said; his brightness had suddenly died and he looked sad.

"What's… wrong, Uncle Llez?" Zell asked, puzzled.

"It's nothing. Go get your stuff together, we're leaving at midnight."

"Can I at least say bye to everyone?"

"No – that would alert Leonard and Llez." Llez said.

"Llez…?"

"Your brother – by the way, my new name now-a-days, is Kovu," Llez said, "and your cousin Zell is Zack."

"Oh yeah… my brother…" Zell mumbled, looking down.

"You get to keep your name. You should be happy, Zell!" 'Kovu' cheered, hugging him.

"Bloody well, wonderful." Zell muttered, looking downcast.

**08101991**

**Joce:** I hope that was a decent plot twist. Grins sheepishly.

**Mixen:** The good news is you've calmed down. The bad news is the readers are probably going to kill you for having a cliff hanger.

**Joce:** I doubt it. Laughs. This fic isn't that good yet… It'll get better later… I hope.


End file.
